I woke up this morning to an oddly quiet apartment, and I couldn’t figure out why it seemed so quiet at first.
Then I realized… My A/C wasn’t running. No, it’s not broken (thank god), it just didn’t have to run. I then checked the temperature on my phone and saw that it was 63 degrees outside, and that was the most beautiful way to start the day. I then looked at the 7-day forecast and saw that it’s pretty much going to be like this for the foreseeable future.
You know what that means…
AWWWWW YEAHHHHHH IT’S HALLOWEEN SEASON, BABY!
Summer is finally dead and now we head into the best season of the year. Fall/Autumn/Halloween, whatever you want to call it, it’s here! No more sweating your ass off from just walking to your car, no more constantly feeling dehydrated, no more getting blinded by the stupid sun. It’s time for fog, rain, cool air, leaves falling, and less daylight — finally!
Fall is, without question, the best season of the year and it’s not even close. This is especially true when you live in the great commonwealth of Massachusetts. Fall in Massachusetts is the most scenic, beautiful thing you’ll ever see, and it’s such a relief after the obnoxiously hot summer we had.
You know what I did yesterday? I went out and bought those Halloween Oreos, you know, the ones with the orange cream filling. Do they taste any different than regular Oreos? Of course not! Doesn’t matter! It’s Halloween season, rules don’t apply!
I will admit that there is another reason why I love the changing of the season so much around this time of year, it’s the schadenfreude I get from all the whiny Summer people. Oh, it’s the best! These whiny little babies get all depressed because their precious little sun isn’t around as much anymore and it makes me so god damn happy.
Aw, what’s the matter? Not warm enough to go to beautiful, scenic, not-at-all-trashy Revere beach? Too cold to go join the rest of the Cape Cod assholes who clog up the roads on Thursdays and Fridays to go down to the most overrated spit of land in New England? What’s that, little kids? You want to run around your backyards yelling and screaming in the nice weather? TOO BAD. Back to school you go, little assholes! No more playtime for you!
There are so many great things that are brought on by this time of year. Football is back, hockey will be back soon, Thanksgiving is right around the corner, it’s all just wonderful. I think I have reverse seasonal depression disorder or something. Most people experience seasonal depression when it gets darker and colder — not me. I thrive in the cold and the darkness. I can’t wait for the first Bruins game at my favorite hockey bar (shout out to Clyde’s Roadhouse) when I can throw on a hoodie, trudge out to the bar, and yell at Tuukka Rask with the rest of my hockey degenerates. Meanwhile, all the Summer weenies will be hiding inside wrapped up in their stupid blankets and counting down the days until their precious season rolls around again.
Bahaha, good. Stay inside, Summer weenies. Stay off the roads, stay away from the bars because you’re too wimpy to go out in the cold, get out of my way and let me enjoy the best season of the year. I’ll be out frolicking in the cold, the fog, and the rain with a big, dumb smile on my face.
Permission to Sound Off 